I want this blog to be unique…
I don’t want it to be all about me, how I have everything figured out, and you should just pull up a chair while gleaning from all this awesomeness.
Nope, not even a little bit.
I know I am supposed to have this blog… to write, share, and relate…
But here is the problem:
I have only had so many experiences and can only reach so many people with them. It dawned on me a while back that I am surrounded by moms/women with beautiful stories.
I have determined to use space to bless more women with the bravely shared stories of others.
There is something so beautiful in knowing that you are not alone.
Without further a due… today I am sharing this space with Sheila Schlederer. She is a momma to 3 beautiful girls and they also live here in Ken Caryl. We were neighbors for a bit and after a few chats spanning between property lines, I knew this lady had a story to share. I am so grateful to have her and her eloquent words here on the blog today. Sheila, thank you for being brave.
Possibilities , I think so many of us live day to day with a clouded idea of what joy truly is. I know I’ve spent years waiting for the possibilities of tomorrow, wishing today away instead of seeing God’s blessings quietly surrounding me.
I’d lost sight of what joy truly was. My children’s laughter became background noise, life was becoming more of a chore I didn’t want to face than the amazing journey it is meant to be.
The sunrise became just an excuse to escape my bed from the grasp of insomnia and consume countless amounts of caffeine and the sunset was simply a sense of relief because I knew soon I could once again fall asleep and be happier in my dreams.
The bright pinks and oranges that were created by our Lord to greet me each day…had become nothing more than the indication of the beginning and ending of a day, a day with a heart that had lost sight of anything good, a heart that was empty beyond words. I’d simply and completely lost sight of anything that made me genuinely happy.
My marriage had dissolved and fallen apart. As I desperately tried to give my beautiful daughters a sense of normal, my heart was bitter, angry, and spiteful, how could I feed their hearts with Gods word, when it was nowhere within me? I wished every day away hoping that somehow, just somehow…tomorrow would be a better day.
Well, I can tell you that several years (yes, years) of this broke me into a person I no longer recognized , I shut everyone out. I forgot or quite possibly chose to ignore the one person waiting for me with an outstretched hand, gently, softly, lovingly waiting for me to lift up my broken spirit, and embrace my darkened soul . He was there, the whole time, through countless hours of broken thoughts, sleepless nights, hiding away from the hurt…and hardest of all, time not spent with my beautiful daughters .
God was there, waiting patiently for me, waiting for me to turn my eyes away from the harsh world I had created for myself and towards him.
One morning when I had hit absolute emotional rock bottom as I felt myself giving in to all that I had created, that is exactly what I did, I sat in a pool of endless tears and let it all go, I prayed out loud for God to come into my life, to renew my weary soul and my broken heart, to show me how to live again and remind me that I could not do it, not for another moment, without Him.
I let God finally take control of everything I had desperately tried to change and within a breaths moment, I knew..I knew he had forgiven me for my selfishness, for not seeing His blessings in every single corner of my life, for not hearing the laughter of my children, for not taking every single day exactly as I should have as gift beyond measure.
I now wake up each day and regardless of any hill I may have to climb, I do it with joy in my heart because I know that no matter what challenges come my way, if I quiet my busy mind and remind my thankful heart that yes, God is actually in control…I will face each moment knowing that with Him, nothing is impossible. That with Him my blessings are abundant and undeniably all around me and that each sunrise is simply the welcoming of a bright new day, and that THIS day, not tomorrow is filled with wonderful possibilities .
Am I blissful every single moment? Oh my gosh no, I am human, I get mad, frustrated, I sometimes even yell at my kids… lol. But through those moments I quietly remind myself that these moments are temporary and if I trust in Him, they become just a momentary part of this amazing journey, I know I will have tough moments, every single human does. I also know, that my joy outweighs anything that comes along trying to steal it away.
My friends, If life is throwing its worst days at you, you wake up and all you remember how to feel is broken, stop a moment, quiet your busy mind and your troubled heart, lift yourself up, turn your eyes up towards God, let Him in, let Him gently remove the troubles that are weighing you down, let Him carry you through the toughest part and from then on… let Him exist within your heart and soul… I promise, you won’t be disappointed.
Enjoy every moment of your journey, see joy in the little things, be blessed beyond measure in all that you do!
In His name,
If any of you sweet readers out there have a story you’d be willing to share… I would love to have you.
Let’s follow Sheila’s lead in giving pain a purpose.
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