To The Girl Who Gets The Title Of Mom Accidentally

You Are On A Killer Road Trip, Let's Talk About It

Here’s the deal… the road ahead of you is loooooooong and it’s going to be harder than you can imagine at times. It’s going to take you as close to the edge as you can possibly get without falling over.

This road that you are on is going to have many other travelers as well.
Some more lovely than others…

For instance… there will be travelers that come along side of you and hold you hand or look you in the eye and tell you to keep going. These fellow travelers are more like part of your caravan, they are your people. They are there to give you a lift, help you change a tire, and make sure you get back on your weary way. These are the very best travelers you will find on the road.

There will also be many travelers who have already made this great journey, but they are so far down the road you would never know they started out exactly where you are. These travelers will come out of nowhere, share their story and show you the map they journeyed along. These travelers are bold, brave, and authentic. They understand this road trip all too well and are much like a rest stop made by the Hilton.
These travelers are oh so good, and will give you much needed hope when your tank is running on E.

On this road there are going to be ever so many people who want to give you directions (read: advice). You may not ask for directions but trust me, you are going to get them in billboard-sized portions. I am going to trust that these people have your best interest in mind but the double dose of parental advice can really be exhausting at times. Listen to what they have to say, be respectful, and try not to be offended by all the unsolicited instruction.
After you have received the directions, take what you like and leave what you don’t.
Ultimately, this is your journey, your life, and your baby.
(And just because there journey through motherhood was more orderly, planned, and perfect… it does not necessarily make them a good mother. Proceed with caution… slippery roads ahead.)

The last group of travelers still give me get a knot in my stomach… These people are less like fellow travelers and more like the idiots on the side of the road trying to egg your car as you speed by. They are often quiet and subtle about their attack but their intentions are all the same. They lay their condescending words and judgements out there like spike strips just waiting to take the proverbial air out of your tires.
Avoid them, ignore them, and just keep going.
These people are toxic, mean, and you have no space in your life for them.

Now, my sweet friend who has unexpectedly found herself on this journey…
Buckle up… You need to know can do this, you need to know you are strong and able, but most importantly you need to keep Jesus in the front seat. He is not just your copilot… he is at the helm. Lean into Him when you hit a dead end and pray hard when you are lost.
(GO ahead and bust into song with Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus take the wheel.”)

As for the rest of you… be nice!
No matter how shiny her paint coat appears to be on the outside, she more than likely having trouble under the hood. (I know I am really stretching it with the car analogies.)

The worst thing you can do is treat her judgmentally.
What she needs the most is your love and support.
If she needs your advice, she will ask.
If she needs your directions, she will ask.
If you have been where she is… tell her your story, give her hope.

Road trips are hard enough when you have planned, meticulously packed, and prepared for the journey ahead… Motherhood is exactly the same.
(Ok, enough with the car analogies.)

Have you been on this journey yourself?
Walked closely with someone else who has?

I am particularly interested to find out what my unexpected mom readers have to say about this!
Share the post on Facebook, would ya? Let’s create a larger conversation.

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7 thoughts on “To The Girl Who Gets The Title Of Mom Accidentally

  1. Hit the nail on the head… I have a four month old baby boy and i am at a point in life where i am second guessing my motherly instinct..or do I even have them? The struggle is real but i just keep pushing through and praying to God that i just make it through this alive! It may have to do with the fact my baby is going through a sleep regression and wants to be clinged to my body and nothing else! Lord help me!

    • You can do this! One thing I had to cling to (and sometimes still do) is knowing that God chose me to be the momma for that sweet baby. Of all the other women in the world… He chose me for him/her.

  2. Whoa… That was beautifully written. I love your indirect gnatness. I mean that in the sweetest way. ❤❤❤

  3. I don’t know about unexpectedly but I became a step mom and that wasn’t the plan. I actually wish I had the benefit of advice and help that came from a place of understanding. I got a lot of judgment, hard times and cruelty. I spent years seeking out support groups that turned out to support bitterness and religions and religious people who turned me away because of their doctrines. My family was great but limited due to experience. I finally just learned to trust myself. Like you said, filter. It’s always a rough road the first time, no matter the experience.