The Most Dangerous Way To Ruin Motherhood

No matter how mature you are, what season of life you are in, or far you’ve come with this particular matter… I am going to venture to say that we all struggle with comparisons to some degree.

I know I have come a long way but it still gets me at times.

But comparisons can be so dangerous, painful, and devastating.

comparison-is-the-thief-of-joySo this morning I am going to put it all out there.

I really don’t care whether or not you are a single mom or happily ever after (ya, right!) married mom.
[You are a momma and your are loving your babes.]

I really don’t care if you were drugged up and happily laughed your baby in to existence, scheduled your c-section around your pedicure, or if your midwife hypnotized you in a giant kiddy pool in the middle of your living room.
[You gave birth, check!]

I  really don’t care where your child sleeps… in your bed, in their bed or hanging from the ceiling.

I really don’t care if you stay home with your kids and make pinteresting art and recipes or if you drop those little suckers into the finest day care establishment while you go to work.

I really don’t care if you married super dad and all he ever wants to do is hang out with you and the kids or you married the super golfer that tries to fit you in from time to time.

I really don’t care if you breast feed (with a cover, without a cover, whatev) or bottle feed.
[Seems like you are getting the job done and feeding your baby. Nice work.]

Speaking of feeding… I really don’t really care if you feed your children only the purest/most natural/organic/non GMO foods our earth and Whole Foods has to offer or if you are on a first name basis with the kid who works at the nearest drive thru.
[Kids have full bellies. Done.]

I really don’t care if you cloth diaper, disposable diaper, biodegradable/chlorine free diaper, or if you just let them air it all out.
[It’s a nasty process no matter how it is done.]

I really don’t care if your kid is in every single camp, sport, or lesson possible.

I really don’t care if your kid is on the honor roll or if they are the team all-star.

I really don’t care if your kid is a couch potato or a book worm.

I really don’t care if your kid goes to public school, charter school, home school, school on the moon… whatever.
[Your kids are getting an education. Good job.]

I really don’t care what you look like…

I don’t care if you are skinny or thick, perfect and plastic, saggy and squishy, or tatted and pierced.

I don’t care if you are a natural beauty or you paint your face every morning.

I don’t care if wear designer clothes or you shop at consignment stores.

I don’t care if you don’t even know your natural hair color anymore.

Sometimes I feel like motherhood is the grown up/mommy version of Mean Girls.

Competing

Comparing

And Backstabbing

We somehow (subconsciously?) think tearing down another women will make us feel better about ourselves and our own insecurities.

When it is all said and done there is no prize to be won for feeling better about yourself.

Instead, you end up with a heart and head full of resentment, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, depression, anxiety, and probably more insecurities.

I can’t judge your parenting… I don’t know your kid like you do.
I can’t judge your marriage… I don’t know your husband like you do.
I can’t judge your life… I don’t know your story like you do.

Bottom line…

Let’s stop the judgement.
Let’s stop being so hard on one another
And while we are at it… let’s stop being so dang hard on ourselves!

The way you choose to birth/feed/educate your kid really doesn’t affect me. I would venture to say that when we judge these things it is because we are simply insecure with our own decisions.

What works best for you? your baby? your other kids? your marriage? your family?

Then… do that thing.

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
Galatians 6:4

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4 thoughts on “The Most Dangerous Way To Ruin Motherhood

  1. This one will probably will be one of my favorite blogs now! Thank you christen so much for sharing truth! Wasn’t until recently that I’ve learned to make decisions based on works best for my family, my children and my marriage. And that having a peace that surpasses all understanding truly means that it’s OKAY if others don’t get it nor do they need an explanation for what we do and how we do things. God made us a diverse people because He isn’t a boring God.
    And the comparison thing…. I’ve been locked up behind those dirty bars for some time! It was hurting my children, my husband, and my precious self!! There really is freedom and JOY that come when you choose what God has already chosen for you to meet your specific needs/lifestyle. Not only do I have a complete peace but I am more productive than I have ever been.
    I also love not feeling guilty anymore for the desires I have. I love beer, the gym, my kids go to public school, and I am an extrovert with extrovert desires! For me, its day to day thing though, to actually be focusing on what’s good for us. But it’s so worth it!

    Whoa…Novel!

  2. I enjoyed this read very much. As I quickly approach parenthood…only a few weeks away, I feel the judgement from other mother’s in my decisions all the while thinking “Aren’t we all in this together?” Thanks!

  3. Think of how much more we could do if we didn’t spend time comparing ourselves to others! I need every minute to get the most out of my day so this sort of stuff just can’t be part of it. I like taking it slow and enjoying my second margarita!! What would you do with your extra time?? Another winner, Christen!!!

  4. I am standing up applauding! This is spot on perfect! I just might print it out to reread over and over and to pass out to every woman I know. Thank you!