I know God called me to write this blog, share my story, and keep it real.
But here is the problem… I have only had so many experiences and can only reach so many people with them. However, I am surrounded by moms/women that have such beautiful stories.
I want to use this space to bless more women with the bravely shared stories of others.
There is something so beautiful in knowing that you are not alone.
This is my friend Kelsey… She is the coordinator at the preschool Brady attended last year and she is phenomenal. Her heart for the Lord was obvious and it was super fun getting to know her!
Her heart is beautiful, her story is relatable, and her authenticity is exactly what other women in these situations need.
Thank you for sharing, Kelsey.
Growing up, I always knew that I wanted kids. I am great with kids – preschoolers and I just get each other. I dreamed of one day getting married and spending a nice 3-5 years traveling with my husband and then starting a perfect family of our own. Of course our children would be angels and we would never have any behavior problems and I would definitely be getting eight hours of sleep every night, right from the beginning. Life would be perfect.
Then, I met my guy. He is kind, compassionate, funny, intelligent, and loves the Lord so deeply. He was (and still is) my dream man. But he doesn’t travel alone. He’s part of a package deal, and the other part of the package happens to be two teenage daughters.
That wasn’t the plan.
But I fell in love. I first fell in love with my sweet husband – the man and father he is just made me fall even faster. And then I fell in love with the family we could be – I had visions of myself as the Best. Stepmom. Ever. I would be cool…I would be fun…I would always have a perfectly clean house stocked with the best snacks ever. Finally, I started to fall in love with the girls themselves. If anyone here has ever been a teenage girl, you know that they can be….difficult. But these girls were sweet and funny and recovered from their “difficult” moments quickly and usually with remorse.
“We will be the perfect family,” I thought, “What could possibly go wrong?”
And then we got married.
One of the worst things you can say to a new (or even not-so-new) stepmom is “you knew what you were getting into when you married him.” Believe me – she didn’t know. She foolishly thought that she knew, but she didn’t. My visions of being the perfect family came tumbling down the minute we walked through the door from our honeymoon.
See, life is hard. And it can be especially hard when you’re a teenager. Those teenage girls are still the sweet and funny girls they were before, but now there was nowhere to hide from their “difficult” moments. And, even harder to cope with, was that there was nowhere to hide from my own. Being a stepmom has brought out every part of me that was in hiding – the selfish, the impatient, the high-maintence, the sensitive. But it has also brought out the selflessness, the grateful, the compassionate.
This journey that we are on, my little family and I, is a long one. It’s a story of two steps forward, one step back. There is a lot of loneliness, and there are a lot of emotions in our house every day (would you expect anything less with a new stepmom and two teenage girls?!), but by the grace of God alone, we are journeying forward.
I spent a lot of time early in my marriage mourning. Mourning the life I had imagined when I was younger, mourning the family I had dreamed of, and especially mourning the opportunity to experience all of this marriage, babies, life stuff with my husband for the first time together. Coming to terms with the fact that he had done all of this before with someone else was hard. But God has taken that mourning and turned into joy, just as he promised. Joy at getting to start a new family together, joy in the moments when everything just clicks and we have a moment of being the perfect family I envisioned, joy in knowing that these hard times have drawn me infinitely closer to my Father, which is the greatest joy of all.
Being a stepmom is hard. I believe it will always be so. And now, I am getting ready to bring my first baby into the world this coming March. And I know that will bring a whole new set of emotions, challenges, and blessings into this journey we are on. However, if there is anything I have learned in the last few years, it is to lean into the arms of the Father and to trust Him.
I can rest in the knowledge that He is endlessly faithful.
And that my baby is going to have the Coolest. Big Sisters. Ever.
EEK! I didn’t know she was pregnant until I read this piece! I can’t even express my joy and excitement around this situation! My God makes beautiful things and their story is nothing short of incredible!
Thanks for joining me for (MOM)entous Monday. If you have a story you would like to share… Contact me!
Let’s bless people with the story of our lives… it turns all that pain into purpose.
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