God called me to write this blog, share my story, and keep it real.
But here is the problem… I have only had so many experiences and can only reach so many people with them. However, I am surrounded by moms/women that have such beautiful stories.
I want to use this space to bless more women with the bravely shared stories of others.
There is something so beautiful in knowing that you are not alone.
Today I am honored to introduce you to my very own mentor, Christina Lang. She is a lover of hot beverages (also known as a hot cuppa), she will make you feel awkward with her deep and probing questions, she is a serious foodie, wordsmith, and carpools like a boss!
On a more serious note… when I desperately needed her, this lady hopped in the trenches like a parajumper on a rescue mission from God after me. She helped guide me through some
crap, er… I mean, growing opportunities and I could never properly express how grateful to God I am for the gift of her.
She has a heart of compassion, beautiful family, and a book!
(Yes, you read that correctly… she has a book. You need it. Trust me.)
To read her full and more formal bio… click here.
Two kids were enough for me. I felt like I had put in my time doing the pregnant thing. I had
gained and lost 50 pounds (twice), breastfed, co-slept, and mastered the double-jogger. I
attended play-groups, practiced baby-wearing, and worked on potty training. I was totally
rocking the mom thing. But tragically, during all of those glorious years, I also lost someone
very important… me.
I assumed the solution to “finding myself” was to remember where my strengths were outside of
my home. I craved adult conversations. I felt the need to prove to myself and to the world that
my brain had not turned into organic applesauce. I needed to know that the degree I was still
paying on every month actually had a purpose.
So I went to work. It was only part-time. But it was at a church, and if you’ve ever worked at a
church, you might know that there are no part-time hours (only part-time pay). But it felt good. I
wore “real” clothes a couple of times a week, attended meetings, and really felt needed. I could
see the immediate difference and impact that my work had on people. It got easier and easier
to leave my kids with a sitter and before I knew it, our ordinary life as a little family of 4 was set
I don’t know if you caught it, but the above three paragraphs referenced the words “me, I, and
myself” at least 23 times.
Well, back in the day I didn’t catch it either. I had no idea that focusing on myself intently as a
solution to fix “mommy brain” would create an epic case of self-centered behavior that had the
potential to sabotage my relationship with God and many others. You see, while on my quest to
“find myself,” the person I discovered was not exactly whom I was hoping for. When I really
looked deeply into the mirror, the only girl staring back at me was selfish, insecure, and tired.
Never-the-less, I pushed past the truth, and was able to go on like that for a couple of years,
thinking that this was how all working moms with toddlers felt. Thinking this was just how life
Then one day God and I had a conversation. He let me know that I had been looking for worth
in worthless things. He told me that I had joined the ranks of ordinary living without an eternal
glance in His direction. He really needed me to understand that His purpose for creating me
contained much more value than I was giving Him credit or time for.
Basically: He wanted me back.
And not just a little of me when I could find the time…. the whole kit and caboodle.
ALL. OF. ME.
I cried. I begged. I lashed out. Then I gave in.
What did that mean for the life we had crafted for our foursome? How was I going to let
Brandon know that some drastic changes were in our very near future that would literally affect
every measure of our lives?
Thankfully, because this whole transformation was God’s idea in the first place, He totally led
the way. All I needed to do was surrender.
I would like to tell you that from that day on our whole world changed and I have never looked
That would be a lie.
But I can tell you that 8 years later…. my daily life is so rich and full of God-ordained moments and relationships that I have not yet once, since that day, questioned His purpose for me. I
wonder sometimes what He has in store tomorrow, but I don’t fret about it. I am no longer
anxious about the future. I no longer feel the need to prove my value and worth to anyone but
my loving, heavenly Father who still wants more for me and my family than I will ever know.
Exiting the ordinary was anything but easy. But now that we are on the other side, I really can’t
think of any other way to live. We have added 4 more kids since then, two by birth and two by
adoption. Our marriage has hit some lows that I never saw coming. We moved to another
state. Our children attend public schools and play contact sports. I “work” from my home. I
have struggled with depression. My only daughter has special needs. And the list could easily
Guess what? We are thriving.
When God calls us to do hard things, it is not because He is bored and wants to sit back and
watch us fumble through hard things. It is because He loves us enough to draw us out of our
mundane. He knows that a life spent on itself is a wasted life. We were created sacrificially so
that we ourselves would sacrifice for others.
As I continued to give God my days, as if I was holding a giant bucket up to Him, He began
pouring into me. So much so, that I had to start writing it all down. Not only was I writing, but I
also started speaking to women at MOPS groups and in local churches. I guess people saw a
realness in fumbling, simplistically real, me.
Last year I sat down to write a bible study. Five months later I was teaching ExtraOrdinary at
my church to just under 200 women every week. Since then, many more little groups have
popped up and a few churches in a few different states are also doing ExtraOrdinary. One of
the greatest things for me is to get an email from someone I don’t even know telling me that
they are going through ExtraOrdinary and growing spiritually in real ways. It blows me away.
One of the hardest questions for me to answer is, “What’s Next”? Mostly because I am
someone who loves to have a plan, and also because I fear that if I don’t always have
something significant happening, then I am somehow not working in my true potential.
But right now God has me there. I don’t have an answer to what is next.
I do know that my days are full and I spend much of my time being wife and mommy. I also
know that I am loved, honored, and adored, right where I am. If all I did for the rest of my life
was to work on less of me so that He could give more of Him, then I would be doing well. Gone
are the aches of feeling the need to prove who I am. Replaced with a deeper sense of worth
than I could have ever found on my own, I tackle my days with courage and humility.
So, what about you? Do you struggle with your self-worth? Do you feel the need to fill the
“ache” with worthless things like shopping, working out, dieting, etc.? Is God trying to have a
conversation with you that you just can’t seem to find the time to have?
I hope that instead of scaring you away, my words will encourage you to look a little deeper into
the reason that God created you. Why do you live in the home you do, with the people you do?
Why have you been given the incredible gifts within you that are begging to be released?
If you want to find answers to these questions and more I urge you to look into ordering your
own copy of ExtraOrdinary. You will get to know me and my story far more than you ever knew
you wanted to…but most of all, I hope that it will show you how to seek God above all else, and
as you find Him, you would begin living out your own ExtraOrdinary potential.
Thanks for joining me for (MOM)entous Monday. Please be sure to share this post on your social media venues… Let’s bless people with the story of our lives… it turns all that pain into purpose.
If you have a story you would like to share… Contact me! Let’s set something up!
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