I Think I’ll Go Cry In My Closet One Last Time

Tonight is our last night in our beautiful Colorado home and it has got me feeling all the feels. It seemed to take forever to get to this day and all of a sudden the process is over (well on this end, anyway). There is a little part inside of me that feels like I might have missed something.

It makes me think…

What was our last meal as a family here?

I don’t remember the last family movie we all cozied up for in the basement.

What was our last family game?

I didn’t realize that when the kids were playing outside in the sunshine, that it would be our last (we have about 6 inches of snow right now.)

I know that if I would have realized those last experiences were truly the last I would have better cherished them, acknowledged them, and probably even documented them.

Here comes all the feels… Now that I realized how easily all those lasts slipped through my fingers like fist full of sand I am gripping even tighter on all the sandy lasts our family years and those sweet childhoods. Payton will graduate high school is six measly years and our family season will be over as we know it. Through tears I will probably be sitting at my keyboard once again asking y’all:

What was our last meal as a family?

I don’t remember the last family movie we all cozied up for?

What was our last family game?

I didn’t realize that when the kids were playing outside in the sunshine, that it would be their last.

And in case you need even more feels, what about the lasts I have already missed?

I don’t remember the last time Payton got in costume and played super heroes.

When was Brady’s last time to be rocked to sleep?

James must have had his last time of incorrectly calling an airplane a mondo?

I didn’t realize the last time I helped a sweet squishy baby spoon pureed food from jar it was going to my last.

Some of the lasts I can’t help but wish away… I am ready for the last diaper, the last carseat, the last butt wiping, and the last homework. But in wishing all of those things away they are growing up and FAST!

Today I encourage you to slow down and savor all the lasts and not just in parenthood. I know it sounds cliche but you never know when it could be your last time to call mom, take that hike, or try something new. Don’t let anymore sand slip through your fingers unnoticed.

Now I think I’ll go cry in my closet one last time.

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply to Theresa Boedeker Cancel reply

4 thoughts on “I Think I’ll Go Cry In My Closet One Last Time

  1. Go do it Christen. Keep your memories in your heart, never looking back but embracing the future. I love you and your writings and the beautiful family you share with us.