FaKebook Friday

Christmas Tree Edition

You know how you can scroll through Facebook and it seems like everyone else has a more perfect life than you?

Well, they don’t.

For some reason we tend to compare someone else’s highlight reel to our bloopers.

On FaKebook Fridays I give an example of a FaKebook vs a Real Life version of the same story, essentially mocking the way we all have a tendency to put a spin on the things we share on Facebook.

FaKebook is the version of the story that you want everyone to see or know and Real Life is the version that you don’t really share for whatever reason.

Still not quite sure what FaKebook is? Click here.

Here goes…

[FaKebook Version]

This year we cut down our first live Christmas tree! We hunted for the best one for quite some time and Payton helped cut it down. He and Marilyn did some snowshoeing. Brady and James did some sledding. It was a beautiful day filled with fun adventures and great memories.


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[Real Life]

It really was a great day full of fun memories and adventures, however…

That tree looked much better in the forest than it did in the house!

First of all… it was huge! The forest dwarfed the true size of our monster tree. We have tall ceilings in the room I had envisioned it to inhabit, but that sucker was as wide as it was tall. We had refigure the furniture to even get it to fit in the room and the branches were still flopping all over the couch.

Secondly, I am not sure if you know this or not, but… trees are really heavy! Especially the super alive, snow and water soaked ones that you find in the wilderness.

And if you ever go chop down one of these water logged beasts… you should probably invest in the higher end tree holder upper thing. When I was at the store purchasing said tree holder upper thing, I couldn’t understand why someone would pay $50 when the one next to it was only $14, sure it was made of plastic, but it seemed like it would do the trick.
Rookie move.

Shane and I were trying to handle that refrigerator of a tree, but it was getting the best of us and our marriage… No, seriously, trees are really pokey. I looked like I had been in a fight with a herd of stray cats by the time we were through.

Another thing about those darn real life trees… they have sap.
Like a lot of it.
Like a lot of it, ev.er.y.where!

Oh, and one thing that gets everywhere… NEEDLES!
(I thought my fake tree was bad… in 7 years my fake tree has not dropped as many needles as Big Bertha did in her short life.)

We no longer have Big Bertha in the the front room and although she was only with us for about 7 minutes… she truly left her mark.

We ended up with a scratched up door frame, sap covered furniture, needle sprinkled carpet, battle wounds, marital apologies and partridge in a pear tree.

Big Bertha is now sharing her festive love from the outside in. We simply through her in the planter and tied her up to the front porch railing (hence, the cheap tree holder upper). She has been donned with red ribbons and is a lovely sight.



Don’t worry, the kids still have a tree.
Upon kicking Bertha out, we brought old faithful up from the basement and decked the halls.


I am not sure if we will ever cut down another tree (at least I didn’t invest in the expensive tree holder upper thing) but if we do… it will been a lovely tradition to keep it as our outside tree.

We cannot possibly be the only family with such issues…
please tell me your terrible tree stories!


Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet, if you can handle more of my crazy antics…click here and like my Facebook page… you know you don’t never miss an excuse to feel better about yourself at my expense.

Also, I know your email box is sacred and you have worked ever so diligently to protect it like a mother bird protecting her young…  but I really think you should leave your email address in the subscribe bar.

I cross my heart I won’t abuse being including in your circle of trust… I won’t spam you, I won’t sell your information, I just don’t want you to miss a thing! 



Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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One thought on “FaKebook Friday

  1. Too funny!! I had no idea Big Bertha had a story! Haha! She looks so at home near the front porch!
    I couldn’t tell you what year we tried the same thing…I’d only grown up with fake trees, so I wanted to give the youngins a nice experience. Same thing…I just remember all the mess! How do people do this year after year I wondered? I hate messy things, especially when you touch it, it sprinkles mess! (I decided long ago to keep my kids, despite this mess…;))
    And more recently with facebook…making it look so fun!!! A family adventure! It’s tempting…