Confession time… I remember my mom tearing up (a lot) as a kid. I remember the love, joy, and pride I saw in those tears streaming down her face. I also remember thinking she was a huge sap and wondering why she cried so darn much?
And now, I have become my mother. I used to be so tough. I remember going years without crying (probably not healthy) and now I can’t make it through the day without choking up about something.
The hustle bustle of May is very distracting. Believe me when I say, time FLIES that last month of school! I am fairly certain there is some sort of time warp vortex in the universe during this time. It’s just nuts.
In the chaos of it all I was just doing my best to stay afloat, not lose a child, and let those teachers know they are appreciated. I did alright. I/we made it to the last day of school. No one even cried that morning.
Until… The Preschool Slide Show!
Are these teachers just trying to destroy us right there in front of them as we awkwardly sit on tiny chairs?
Was this payback for all the times I was a few minutes late for pickup?
They could have at least told us to wear our waterproof mascara.
All kidding aside, it was as I watched the beautiful slide show that I started to emotionally process the end of the school year.
At the slide show I was finally able to be still.
No to do list.
Just trying to process how it was possible that time was going so fast. It seemed like only yesterday that I was watching Payton’s preschool slide show and now he is heading to middle school? How is this all happening?
I cried a little at the school but I carried the weight of their fleeting childhoods all day.
Then the panic started to settle in… Payton only has 6 more years under our roof. Am I doing enough? I am present enough? Are my kids going to be prepared for the big world out there?
I talked myself down from the panic ledge and gracefully headed straight for nostalgia lane… James has come so far this school year, he has really matured. Brady will no longer be going to school part time, he is really growing up. Payton is such a kind old soul, I can’t believe he’s going to middle school!
My heart was so full it could have burst.
I texted Shane to enlighten him on the overflowing of my emotions. I sent him something along these lines, “I am just so proud of our kids. They are all just so wonderful. I love them so much. They are so great and so beautiful and they have all had such fabulous school years. They are just the best.”
His response, “I am glad you feel that way.”
Uhhhh, thanks Shane, that was deep. He keeps me grounded.
So I went home and basked in the end of the school year joy with my kiddos. There is an annual water war at the bus stop on the last day. We indulged. It was epic and just like that another school year is is in the book.
Through tear stained cheeks I was reminded to hold my babies tight. They are growing up. Fast. It is so terrifying and beautiful and thrilling and devastating all at the same time.
The old adage, “the days are long but the years are short” is making more and more sense to me the longer I am here on this planet, loving these humans with my heart wide open.
My kids, they slay me.