Do you suffer from this too?

I was recently talking to an up and coming momma about what an average “day in the life” looks like in this season and it dawned on me… I think I have a condition…

there are multiple people living within this body…

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In the morning before the kids wake up I am Christen.
I sit.
I drink coffee.
I read, write, and pray.

Truly… I am bracing myself for what is to come.

Christen also doubles Ninja Mommy in the precious wee hours of the morning.
(She is well trained in her skill and silently makes here way around the house without waking any of the sleeping dragons babes.)

Then, I abruptly switch gears and become the Chef Mommy.
I whip up some just add water or just add milk breakfast, sling it across the table, and wait for the applause.
(Of course it never comes)
While the barbarians are scarfing down the breakfast of champions… I move on to lunches…
sweet, salty, fruit, yogurt, protein, and a granola bar… Check!

Next comes Drill Sergeant Mommy.
Eat Breakfast!
Pack your backpack!
Unload the dishwasher!
Did you brush your teeth?
Drop and give me 20!

Then the Chauffeur Mommy…
I graciously smile while I listen to the same story on CD for the 1.684th time this week.
I drop off one child, then another, and another.
Opening the doors, unloading the luggage, and kissing goodbye all those sweet little patrons.

Next it’s off to the gym where I shimmy into that spandex and become Fitness Mommy.
I feel like a stuffed sausage mixed in with a bunch of well trimmed steaks but the child care is awesome and it gives my brain a good cleansing after a rough morning with the troops.
And of course, there is the fact that I like to eat…

After the gym,  Chauffeur Mommy is back to her rounds…

Chauffeur Mommy tags Chef Mommy…
Chef Mommy whips up the finest PB&J with a side of… something and shoves it down their encourages them to eat quickly.

Then the Nanny Mommy swoops in.
She really has the sweetest job… she reads the stories, rocks the babies, sings the songs, and puts them down for a nap.
(However she is in a bit of trouble. You see… she has received several warnings for sleeping on the job. Apparently reading stories in a dark room, on a soft bed, with a squishy baby, after a hard workout is just too much for her to endure.)

After Nanny Mommy channels her Ninja Mommy skills and defeats the onset of hypersomnia she sneaks out of the room and it’s game time!

During this sacred portion of the day called “naptime” she becomes Maid Mommy and Blogger Mommy.
It really depends on the day, the house, and how close her brain is to exploding with new ideas.
But this is when she handles her biz-nass.
Sometimes all the roles collide; meal prep, laundry, writing, carpool organizing, cleaning, and maybe even a shower if she wants to get real crazy!

There is no adequate title for the lady that shows up next… some call her the Witch Doctor Mommy. This is the 2 hours of the day that all (you know what) tends to break loose.
The Bigs get home from school, the Littles get up from naps, dinner needs started, there might be practice, homework, poopcapades, and/or meltdowns.
Only the Witch Doctor Mommy can know how to properly navigate this fluid portion of the day.
There is usually Jesus music playing in the background and WD Mommy only uses a very low monotone voice (it’s really pretty creepy) to not summon any unwanted moods, feelings, or drama from the inhabitants of the dwelling.

Once Witch Doctor Mommy has served her purpose Wifey shows up. She always get here just in time for hubby to walk in the door to a peaceful, orderly, controlled environment. (Well, let’s just say she does her best.)

Wifey tries not to look as disheveled as she may feel and joyfully serves dinner to her flock. She greets her man at the door (or where ever) with a smile and a kiss.

Then Wifey and Nanny sorta become one… she generates a great round of highs and lows around the table, encouraging each of the brood to share. Wifey finds her most significant role during this time to be “the glue” and does her darndest to keep the peace!

Then Maid Mommy shows up one last time to tidy the after dinner mayhem and do a last swoop through the house just in time for Nanny to show up and start bathing the children.

Nanny bathes, reads, sings, snuggles, and tucks the precious monsters  children in to bed just time to pass the baton back over to Wifey…

Wifey has hopefully squeezed in a shower at some point in the day in order to properly “love on” (bow chica bow wow) her man.

Then Zombie Mommy shows up to get in the solid 8 hours of sleep required before doing it all over again the next day.

Can you relate to any of this?

Do you perform multiple roles/personalities? 

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One thought on “Do you suffer from this too?

  1. No I don’t suffer from this. I’m not a suburban mom. I don’t own a car and can’t afford the gym so I walk around town. My children know much about the holocaust but nothing about extra curricular activities that we cannot afford. My son picked up my grandpa’s guitar in middle school when life was lonely and uneventful for him. When we couldn’t afford an I pod and he was bullied. Four years later he is now an above college level guitarist. Playing live on stage in bands , solo and in the church youth band. Self taught for lack of money. He had grown in character and esteem because he had was set back and had to beat the odds in order to get to the place he is now. I have a chronic pain disease which makes his life even more isolating and uneventful. He was raised in a dysfunctional home and is now precociously sympathetic to the needs of others as well as aware of societal boundries and hindrances. All in all, not being a suburban mom has helpes my child grow in ways I would not have guessed were possible.