Dear New Mom,

Last month I started a new series. It is an ongoing conversation with new mamas.

As a mom of 4, I have been a new mama 4 times or maybe that just makes me an old mom? Either way, this series is my heart for you and some of the things I wish someone would have told me.

I know this time of year can feel especially hard. It probably seems like everyone around you is making precious memories and all you’re doing is trying to keep your person/people alive (and not cry). After all, sleep deprivation is a real thing and you are so tired you cannot fathom why anyone would willing/joyfully subject themselves to the torturesome tasks required by this holiday season.

I feel you.

I have been in this mom game for 12 years now and for over a decade I have lived in the land of survival mode.

I have never hosted a holiday dinner.

I always have these grand plans for advent and fall short approximately 2 days in.

Don’t even get me start on standing in line to meet fake Santa.
No way, man.
Mama don’t play like that.

And this year?
This year I thought things would be different… I sleep through the night and I have a few hours a week with only one child in tow.
I thought this would be my year.
I thought I would finally get to do the perfect mom things…

Then we decided to move.
In fact, we were under contract and we were supposed to move last weekend. I pictured the holidays in our new life and new home but that is not going to happen. We are back on the market, in limbo, and in the midst of showings I am afraid to pull out all things Christmas. I am afraid to make more mess and more clutter. However, I am also afraid of not giving my kids enough “Christmas.”

But here is what I have learned this past decade and I am dying to share with you, my precious new mamas…

  • whether you host a holiday feast or not, you’re doing a good job
  • your child will turn out just fine even if they never meet fake santa
  • there is not an advent or family tradition policebe free

New Mamas,
I implore you…. just do the best you can this season.
Soak up the simple.
Enjoy the small things.
Give yourself some lots of grace.

          I will be joining you. 

In the end, my family appreciates simple with a happy mama versus elaborate with a frazzled mama.

Just keep showing up, keep listening, keep basking in their preciousness.
Leave the dishes, buy store bought, and don’t be afraid to say no.

grace

So this holiday season, no matter how elaborate or not your festivities may be… Be there fully, and set your eyes on the arrival of the newborn King.

After all, that is what it’s all about, right? Mary didn’t fuss about stocking stuffers or perfect photos in front of a beautifully lit tree… just love.

Love your tiny people deeply, quietly, and intentionally. That will be the best version of the holiday you could possible give them and so much more than enough.

With much love,
The World’s Okayest Mom

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