Beware Of Destination Addiction

Destination addiction is defined by Dr. Holden as “a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

As moms, wives, and humans I think this is extremely applicable.

Not for you, huh?

How about this… Can you think of at least one person this would be applicable to?
It’s always easier to see  someone else’s flaws…
Do you have that friend who is moving again, buying another new car, or once more switching careers.
There is this crazy spin they always put on the transition, including words like “forever home” or “dream job.”

Wait a second… Did I just hear a little gasp? Are you actually guilty of it too?

[hand shamefully raised]
I am.

I have been in a season in which I was so anxious to set up my life that I wanted it all done, right then… the house, the kids, the car, the furniture, etc. I wanted it all wrapped up with a pretty bow on top so I could sit back and enjoy life.


This pursuit of happiness can be dangerous.
It can cause us to always be on the run, dragging our people behind us while we search endlessly for the next great thing.

Then the goal is not to enjoy the day, but instead just to survive it.
We will enjoy the day later, another day, when everything is done and ready to be enjoyed.

Take a look at your to do list… does it include any thing that might be enjoyable today?
a trip to the park with the kids?
time for porch swinging and chatting about their day?

How about time for you as a momma to take that deep breath today?
go for a walk alone with your ear buds in?
take nap? (don’t worry, I looked it up and it is not a sin.)

I am really good at looking at my list and justifying how once I get all these menial tasks completed I will be able to take that deep breath and better enjoy the day, tomorrow.

This skewed mindset has us enduring each day while focusing our work toward the next big thing.

We find ourselves thinking I will be happy when…

find the right guy/work through those lingering marital issues

we buy a house

get our house perfectly organized/decorated/furnished

we have a baby/complete our family

we remodel/update the whatever

get a bigger/better/newer car

all the kids sleep through the night (tempting, right?)

we they are all out of diapers/cribs/carseats

hubby gets the promotion

we update our wardrobe and stop wearing maternity clothes (the baby is 2 now…)

we finish that degree/go back to school

we go back to work

when we lose the baby weight

These are all worthy goals but we have to be careful not to postpone our joy until we achieve them.

Let’s make it more about the journey and less about the destination.

Honestly, the future might not be where your/my best joy, happiness, and success will be.

I am thankful for this day and this life.

Don’t wait to find your joy and peace once everything falls into place… find joy and peace knowing that everything will fall into place.

I am going to make today count, how about you?






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2 thoughts on “Beware Of Destination Addiction

  1. I love this! And it’s what God has been teaching me lately too…I’m living in this season too, and it all dawned on me last week. I had been going going going since school started up again. All 4 of my kids in school now. So how had I managed to still have no time to take that deep breath, go get a pedicure, take a nap, or read a book during the day!
    Then I got a bad cold (those darn kid germs)… I think it was God’s way of slowing me down enough so he could show me something about my pace in life. He gently reminded me that I had earned the time for myself! I have been a stay at home mom for over 15 years! I deserved a deep breath, some cute toes and definitely a nap!
    My goals, dreams and responsibilities don’t need to rob me of being happy with my life, everyday! How quickly I forget to take time for each child, to laugh at their funniness, and steal a kiss with my husband. Instead, getting caught up in all my post-it note to do lists. Jesus, help us all remember to live fully, love deeply and laugh often!