Santa – an old dude comes to your house and leaves you gifts, for no reason, uh huh.
Toothfairy – You get money for shedding the old and growing new… In that case, why isn’t there a nail clippings fairy?
My parents even had me convinced that if I ate the crust on my toast, my hair would get curly. Gullible.
For all the faulty things they believe… there are a few things they really get wrong:
- Naps are a form of torture – Most days I would give my left arm to take a nap. Seriously… Can you imagine someone making you stop your life and snooze the afternoon away? Only to find that when you awoke there would be an afternoon snack waiting for you and the house was tidy (because that is what moms do during nap time, see what I did there)?
- Bathing is the ultimate form of torture – Again… what I wouldn’t do to have someone force me to relax in the bath everyday. My bathing rituals are shoddy at best. Bathing is a privilege in my world, thus the terms “quick rinse” and “power shower” have been born. (And can I get an amen for dry shampoo… how did our mothers do it?)
- Museums are fun – Don’t get me wrong… I really enjoy museums but I think we, as parents, have a tendency to project a false image of what museums really are… Children’s museums are full of hands on adventures… water, bubbles, touching, exploring, dress-up, painting, ands crafting. If you were to go to The Smithsonian Museum of American History and try to touch, explore, or “try on” Abe’s famous hat you will probably be arrested and get to spend a “free” night in Washington DC, Washington DC jail, that is.
- Adults know what they are doing – Let’s have an honest moment here… we are all faking it. You can read all the books in the parenting section, seek advice from seasoned parents, and have a plan/strategy for what your child rearing days will look like… but in the end, there will be plenty of days where you just plain old fake it. I didn’t receive any formal training in parenting… I just got older, procreated, and started pretending.
- Gogurt is healthy – Ok, I choose to believe the lie too. Honestly, it makes my life a lot easier. Have you ever seen a one-year-old try to spoon yogurt from a cup? Nightmare! Other foods in this category would include but not be limited to; granola bars, “natural” JIF peanut butter, and “whole grain” gold fish crackers.
(Don’t judge, I went through my own crunchy stage too.)
- McDonald’s is closed today – Yes, I have used this one before and it works like a charm. Healthy food debate avoided. Total win. You are welcome.
- Weeds are flowers worthy of gifting – I just don’t have the heart to tell them the bouquet of “flowers” they made me are the lament of every true and worthy gardner… their mother, on the other hand, is the champion dandelion grower, so keep ’em coming and if you don’t collect and bouquet them in time… we can always make wishes upon them and spread those seeds everywhere!
On this topic of lies that kids believe, I think it is extremely important to let you know that as a mother, when I am asked a question, I do my best to answer with all honesty.
I try to be bold, brave, and authentic. I try not to make things weird but instead to make them matter of the fact.
For example, last week I was asked what a particular word meant…
Without missing a beat I was able to explain that the word was an inappropriate word for penis that can also be used as a mean name.
Without missing a beat and with eyes as big as saucers, this particular child looked back at me and said, “Why do we need a bad word for that and what makes words bad?”
It lead to a good, healthy, critical thinking conversation.
Ok, awkwardness over.
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